Thursday, January 31, 2008

Swallow….don’t spit…nit-wit!

Upon departing Union this morning, I was met with a cold, wet lakefront snow pelting my face – which forced me to walk with my head down, allowing me to observe things that I would usually rather not see at all – but especially early morning, pre-breakfast.

Nothing says “Good Morning, Hope you're Hungry!” like a large, yellow, slimy goober spat onto the sidewalk!

For the love of God – what is wrong with people?

Should I be surprised? Absolutely not – it goes along with the total “Me” mentality of today’s society.

“I have something unpleasant in my mouth -
so I will spit it out for all to see –
but at least it won’t be bothering me!!”



Wednesday, January 30, 2008

“It feels like I don’t have any pants on!!”

Is what a guy said while walking with another guy and a girl last winter. I know “old snippet” – but it is so cold today that there was nary a word overheard on the mile long walk to my office. So SHUTTY UP - the snippet fits.

As I wrote yesterday, we had an over 40+ degrees temperature drop during the course of the day and it ended with a crescendo of wind and snow that hasn’t been seen around these parts since the last airing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’s Christmas Eve storm scene.

And I, in all of my sanguinity, did not do any Prior Proper Planning (PPP) in consideration of getting to work this morning. I left my winter boots under my desk – at work; last Saturday I returned my winter coat to the store because I was continually having problems with the zipper catching on the inside lining and there were times that I COULD NOT literally remove myself from it; coupled with the fact that the zipper was already ripping out from the bottom (an expensive coat – made with love and tender care by children in CHINA!) and I replaced it with a stylish, marked way, way down unlined coat.

So you can imagine what I looked like today walking down my beloved sidewalks of Chicago wearing my daughter’s royal blue and red high school letterman jacket; her school navy colored sweatpants over my work pants; my quality Payless slip on black shoes; white socks; a light blue winter headband; brown suede gloves; and to top it all off - my Aunt’s (RIP) lovingly crocheted, two-tone white/beige extra, extra long scarf wrapped 18 times around my neck and head.

And here you thought all the top models lived in NYC!

What a Pity.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

40+ degrees temperature drop expected today...

Which is why they say here in Chicago..."If you don't like our weather, wait 15 minutes and it will change!"

I wore my spring hooded jacket in this morning and carried my long wool coat for the return walk to the train tonight.

It isn't right.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Now a break from your regularly scheduled program…

Sometimes I even crack myself up!

I was born a blonde – German descendant – took after my Pops.

I know “Did you hear the one about the blonde that walked into the bar?” - not only do I know most of the blonde jokes – at times I have lived a blonde joke.
I took a personality test once (i.e.
personality_test.php) - where you are asked a series of questions and then told if you have a Sanguine, Melancholy, Choleric or Phlegmatic personality type or that you could be a mixture of several types. The person administering the test said that I had the highest score she had ever seen for being Sanguine.

Sanguine is a nice way of saying BLONDE! At this point in my life, I am comfortable with it and usually don’t even think twice about it, but every so often I do something that even cracks me up!!

Last week while leaving the hair salon – my stylist, Deb and I were talking about my son’s photography and how Phillip is starting to shoot weddings. So Deb says “Has he thought about doing Senior Pictures? You know, sometimes they take them out to parks and stuff – so he wouldn’t have any real overhead costs.”

That’s right - you have got to know where my mind went...I stood there with images of elderly people – bent over with spinal curvatures, in wheel chairs, some with canes, some with walkers, mouth's agape, having their photos taken outside – maybe at a nice river setting or a park.

Deb then said “He would probably make good money doing that. He could just charge a flat fee – shoot the pictures, burn them to a cd and let them take care of getting them sized and printed.”

“Do you think they would able to do that?” I ask. My thought is “I am not sure what kind of elderly people she hangs around – but those I know aren’t always that technologically advanced.”

Suddenly a light bulb went on somewhere deep inside my blonde brain – “Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly!”

Seniors in High School!


Friday, January 25, 2008

“I am like ‘Dude that could go up in flames!’”

I turn to make sure one of my brothers wasn’t behind me. Although if it had been one of them, the snippet probably would of been “I am like ‘Dude! Then it went up in flames!’”

Boys are stupid.

Growing up with four younger brothers – thankfully they were younger – otherwise I might have been involved on some level, possibly as a target of torture, in some of their antics.

I am not sure which part of a boy’s DNA holds the “let me do stupid stuff” gene. But I can tell you, as a female, of the sliver of dumbness I have witnessed and/or heard about through my growing up years that my brothers did – I NEVER had a thought, not even a glimmer of a thought, to do anything like they did.

Examples of dumbness:

Brother #2, while studying American history in school, specifically, Abraham Lincoln, decided to do his homework by candlelight in the ATTIC OF THE GARAGE.

Garage burnt.

Our parents went to the grocery store and upon returning home, brother #3 was sporting a raw, red rope burn around his neck. Brothers #1 and #2 decided to play rodeo in the backyard and lassoed brother #3.

Brother #3 survived.

Brother #1 decided to wrap a Chinese jump rope around the pole in the basement and then around his neck. So, Dad exhibiting one of his best “Hulk-like” moves tore it off brother #1’s neck just as his face was turning from that deep red color to blue.

Brother #1 survived.

To quote a great character - “Stupid is as stupid does!”


Thursday, January 24, 2008

“You need to cc Keith…”

Is what the female executive-looking type said to her male counterpart this morning while rounding the bend of the Chicago River.

Ironically, “my” Keith is in the midst of a communication breakdown snafu at the large corporation where he is employed. Being I have worked at the same environmental law boutique for over 18 years - I don’t have a clue as to how Corporate America operates.

Keith’s company has a gaggle of people in from out of town this week. Keith worked with a local hotel setting up rooms for the incoming masses and, in staying with Company policy, booked either two women to a room or two guys to a room. The whole sharing of a hotel room thing wasn’t stated in black and white to them - but should have been known - Corporate Company Policy and all. So, upon arriving at the hotel, a few of them weren’t too happy. Most, if not all, were guys that were very, very grumpy. I guess they complained LOUDLY to the hotel staff and then the hotel management complained LOUDLY to Keith the next day.

Personally, I find it strange to make employees share their hotel rooms when traveling. Especially, because of the nature of the beasts at times, guys sharing with guys – guys that, more than likely, they don’t even know - which could lead to all sorts of situations ( i.e. John Candy – Steve Martin – PT&A).

Those of you in the know about Corporate America – is this common, acceptable or wrong?


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

"Help the Homeless!"

Is what a guy sitting on one of the metal bridges that span the Chicago River said to me this morning.

It is 8 degrees with somewhere around 10 below wind chill in Chicago today and this guy is sitting on a metal bridge.

After all these years of working down here – I don’t fall for giving money to homeless dudes or dudettes – I have been scammed by the best over the years (Hedyblog readers know how I feel about that) – so I make it a rule to not give out money. But I have been known to give out food (some great stories for a later blog).

This guy though had no gloves on.

Bare hands.

I stopped and immediately told him I was not giving him money – but I asked if he had any gloves. He said “No.”

Fortunately for him while shopping at my Jewel this week I picked up 3 pairs of those little magic stretch gloves - .33 cents each and shoved a pair in my work bag.

Metal bridge homeless guy at least now has warmer hands. “Pay it forward” is what I should have said to him before I left. Hopefully he will.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

"When it gets this cold...."

“When it gets this cold….”

That was it. The only thing overheard this morning. Out in the suburbs of Chicago where I rise, my yard had a beautiful pristine white covering - down here the beauty was replaced with a slushy, gray mess – covering anything that dare trudge thru it – making walking without falling an art form. Did I mention it was cold?

So back to the snippet – “When it gets this cold……I would love to stay within the confines of my warm house venturing out only to retrieve the mail.” Did I say my “WARM” house…..sorry I obviously didn’t mean that.

Outside of my family home, where my Mom still resides after 44 years – I have never, EVER lived in/owned a home that was warm. It is a joke in my family that when they are going to “Sue’s house” they dress in extra layers.

Over the years I have owned four different homes. In four different towns. In four different styles. From a 1960’s Midwest style ranch, to a brand new stick built two story, to a California ranch, to my current 1899 small farmhouse – NONE have ever heated up properly.

The other night while watching t.v. from the couch – Keith turned to me and said “Do you feel that draft?” – I pulled the blanket down from my face and replied “Uhhhh, Yes!” We then discovered there is a full on breeze that comes out from the bottom of the baseboards. “You think that might be why it is freezing in here?” I say. We are looking to “caulk the crack” to possibly achieve some amount of warmness – hopefully before the thaw of spring.

Do you think that the lack of warmness within my houses is some sort of sign? A metaphor of sorts for some deep rooted personal issues?


Monday, January 21, 2008

Brought to you by the Hallowed Halls of Union Station....

Due to the MLK Holiday, the pelting snow and the bitter cold, I knew that today’s sidewalk snippet would be hard to come by – light foot traffic and most everyone bundled up, head down just fighting to get to work – so thankfully a Metra conductor walking through the hallway at Union supplied our snippet – “It’s Toooonnnnnnnyyyyyyy!!” he sang out in his best operatic voice.

I smiled and some of you may know why.

I have been accused (wrongfully) my whole life of singing in an operatic voice – it does not matter the genre of the song – rock, country, blues, gospel – “they” always say I sing it wrong.

I will admit to being a second generation “just belt out into song” kind of gal - passed on to me by my father – although truth be told quite often his singing and drinking went hand-in-hand. Makes me wonder -if he was still around and I asked him “Hey, Pops if given the opportunity to be successful in a different career, what would you choose?” Would he say a singer?

I know I would if I could.


Friday, January 18, 2008

Like a virgin...for the very first time...

I have talked with Hedy (hedyblog) and others in my life for a long while, trying to get someone to write about the snippets of conversations that I hear while I walk to and from work in the beautiful city of Chicago……Hedy made me realize that I CAN BLOG ABOUT IT! So.....taaaa-daaaaahhhhh – Susan’s Snippets from Chicago’s Sidewalks is born.

This morning while rushing down Wacker Drive, bundled appropriately for the Chicago cold – I overheard two men talking – one says “This one time I got too f*#king cocky…..” – I, of course, turned my head around to see who said it, half expecting some young guy, and saw two older, gray haired guys.

So with that snippet of the day from Chicago’s sidewalks – can you finish his sentence….?? “This one time I got too f*#king cocky……”

i played hockey