Monday, April 28, 2008

“I can’t stop looking at it!”

“I know it is like a train wreck that you can’t take your eyes off of.” my walking cohort replied.

We were staring at the light yellow suit that the woman in front of us was wearing…specifically her pants.

They were too tight and between the color and the material – a little too revealing.

And we are not talking about a sexy, cute, firm – thonged up tush....

We are talking about a straight up - “What the hell were you thinking?” and “Didn’t they have any three-way mirrors when you bought those things?” - large, cellulite-dimpled, granny-panty-wrapped-hinny.

And we couldn’t stop looking at it......

almost mesmerized – we were caught somewhere between the “You go for it Girl!” “Good for you – if you feel good – wear it!” and the “OMG, I CANNOT believe you left your house wearing those!” followed by the “I am going to have to use mental floss when I get to the office to get that out of my mind!” mentalities.

At the corner where my friend turns left to get to his office...she made the turn first....I just looked at him and smiled....I got to stop staring....but he....

he wasn’t as lucky.

still stucky

6 comments:

the dilf said...

It's like the chicks who work out in spandex. You're fine if you're wearing a small or medium....but why do I have to look at the @ss of someone in a XXL? Who's to blame? The person wearing them or the company that makes them?

I had a lady in a spin class in front of me with them on. I couldn't even see the instructor around that beast and what's even worse, when she'd get up and climb on the bike, "IT" looked like it was talking to me!...So Gross!

Susan said...

Now Dilf...I have to tread lightly here...because those that know me...know that as a 49-year-old woman, I still like to wear my pants on the tighter side and I am sure I might not have had or have the booty to carry it off...but to clarify I am not talking about the jeans that I love to wear - I am specifically talking about the thin..light-colored pants that women start wearing at this time of the year....I haven't worn anything like them since I was about 26 with a much firmer backside.

with age - things slide

p.s. - i also haven't donned spandex at the gym since I was about 30 pounds lighter.

too tighter

CRUSTYBEEF said...

can we get a camel toe with that?

what a ho.

*channeling you, thank you!*

always,
Crusty`

Susan said...

Crusty....you must know the type of pants I am talking about...light colored, polyester - I have seen women, who by today's standards would be considered thin, still look bad in those pants....unless they have a firm booty going on.

For the record, I am avoiding your reference to a certain toe.

the thought - oh no!

Hedy said...

I'd like to take this opportunity to share my all-time favorite camel toe haiku:

Mid East irony.
Women covered high and low.
Camels? Yes. Toe? No.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

moose knuckle?

Looking for a chuckle.I'll stop now, well, the rhyming way is a bit to hard for me today..must go make tacos for lunch.
I'll never look at them the same.



always,
Elizabeth

nice haiku btw.